When
a Pussers Warship is in port - any port, it needs transport. That
is why a motor vehicle is always provided for a warship's use.
When
alongside on the Australian Station vehicles are provided from the
Government Fleet of Naval Vehicles. When overseas these vehicles would
be provided by the local military authorities, Australian Embassies
or even hire companies.
Up
until the early seventies Australian warships would even carry their
own Diesel powered landrover with them, chained to the quarterdeck
or somewhere else on the upperdeck that was handy.
These
'ship's cars' were used for a myriad of purposes, Captain's Official
Car, Emergency Medivac Transport, Fetching Stores, conveying officers
and sailors to various official functions, mail runs, and even the
nightly 'Pizza Run!'.
However,
there was one small one catch, and that was that not everyone was
allowed to drive them, for it didn't matter whether you held a Driver's
License for every state and territory in Australia or whether your
name was Stirling Moss or A.J. Foyt the only way you could get to
take the wheel of a 'Pusser's Vehicle' was to possess an up to date
'Pusser's License". Even an International Driver's License was not
good enough for the RAN. You had to have an official Navy License.
(pictured below).
Being
a 'Ship's Driver' or 'Captain's Driver' when in harbour was regarded
as somewhat of a perk. For Ship's Drivers, or those fortunate souls
who had obtained an elusive 'Pusser's License' were not likely
to be selected for Café Party or Messman or even Gunner's Yeoman
duties.
They, the Duty Drivers, sat on their arses in a motor car whilst the
rest of the Duty Watch scrubbed down, rigged awnings, painted the
side, covered guns, washed dishes and mopped decks. Ahhhh… what a
life it was to have a 'Pusser's License'.
Even
when serving ashore it had its perks, for getting a driver's job,
like that of 'Security Driver' was much preferred than to be pressed
into service as a Gangway Watchkeeper or rock and gutter painter.
Having
a Pusser's License meant status and most of the recipients were generally
'Old Hands' and at least 'Badgemen' (sailors serving over 4 years
and wearing at least one long service and good conduct badge on the
upper right sleeve of their dress uniform).
Now
why was it so difficult to get this coveted piece of cardboard? Natty
Brooker had one and even kept it after filling the Ships Diesel landrover
with super grade petrol and blowing it up. Another kept his after
running the thing off the end of Nelson Pier in Dogtown Dockyard.
In
the fleet during this era (when the RAN actually had an Aircraft Carrier)
the people who controlled the testing and issuing of Pusser's Licenses
were the members of the Birdy Branch. . 'Birdies" are what are colloquially
referred to as members of the Naval Air Branch and were considered
to be the Experts and Driving Elite in the RAN and thus regarded us
General Service Seamen as little less than human.
I
was given my first crack at a Pusser's License at the 8 year mark
of my RAN Career - I was thrilled, excited and psyched up! I was to
be tested then trusted to drive 'The Ship's Car! I had held an unblemished
Victorian State License since I was 18 and was pretty confident I
could qualify and measure up to the task of holding the precious Pusser's
License.
I was a kellick Seaman, the Armaments Office and XO's Writer on Derwent
at the time. We were on Far East Deployment early in the new year
and consequently the XO had sent a lot of the troops on leave which
had left us a bit short in the Duty Watch over Xmas.
The
XO asked me If I would do the lads a favour and slip on over to the
Flagship (Aircraft Carrier HMAS Melbourne) and sit for a Pusser's
License exam. He had stitched up a deal with the Warrant Officer Birdie
over in the Carrier Airgroup's Reg Office. They had reluctantly agreed
to accomodate him by officially testing us..
This the XO hoped would relieve the pressure on Duty Watch personnel.
Would I volunteer for backing up the duty watch personnel over the
leave period by filling a gap in the Duty Watchbill here and there
as a Driver? Of course I would!
An
XO and his writer share a unique bond - He calls me Stones and I call
him Sir! You get the picture. How could I refuse this gentle request.
And at last anyway I would get my hands on the coveted and elusive
Pusser's License.
The
big day came and after signing the Duty Ashore Book four of us Derwent
Dibbies proceeded on over to the Fitting Out Wharf in GI to find the
Air Regulating Office onboard Aircraft Carrier, HMAS Melbourne. The
Naval Air branch were the driving elite in the RAN at this time in
history, carrying themselves with the air of Formula One Aces.
There
we were 4 budding, potential ship's drivers, all General Service 'Dib
Dabs' from HMAS Derwent waiting in the Birdies Reg Office feeling
quite privileged to do so mind you, when the Warrant Officer Birdie
walked in.
He
was one of the rudest and most obnoxious men I had met to date in
the RAN and regarded us with the utmost contempt, obviously we were
keeping him from giving someone more important the shits.
He
had no time for us at all and reluctantly, with that, "I am wasting
my time here" attitude issued out a rather large document to
each of us - it was the Test Paper and contained somewhere around
ninety seven questions.
Keeping
in mind that the issued, normal everyday ship's vehicles are 5 seater
sedans or station wagons the first two sets of questions on the exam
paper dealt with Articulated Vehicles and Driving in on and around
airfields and Flight Tarmacs. We looked at each other blankly - Who
knows how far Semi Trailers are to keep from each other when travelling
in convoy? Or what you do if you spot 3 Yellow lights on the Control
Tower when you are about to cross a Tarmac with aircraft upon it?
We
courageously informed the Warrant Officer that we didn't believe these
questions were relevant to our area of operations and mode of transport
- namely Kings Cross and a 3 speed column shift Holden Premier.
Suffering
a tirade of abuse and sarcastic remarks about our intelligence we
handed our papers in. We all to a man missed out on obtaining our
Pusser's Licenses by the narrowest of margins having failed just enough
questions to do so. The Warrant Officer knew before handing us the
exam that it was futile, perhaps the reason he was so annoyed from
the outset. Chuckling with glee that he did not have to issue out
any of his beloved Pussers Licenses to mere General Service Dibbies
he requested we stop bothering him and leave his domain. Feeling cheated
and humiliated we headed back to Derwent to break the news to a disappointed
XO.
It
was to be another couple of years before I was at last allowed to
try again. This time with a more reasonable Docky Copper (if there
is such a thing).
Some years later as the Chief Petty Officer
Regulator in HMAS Brisbane.......
I approached the XO (now RADL Geoff Smith) as to his thoughts on making
one of my problem AB's the Captain's Driver in Harbour. In the hope
I could raise this blokes self esteem and get him on the straight
and narrow by giving him this job with 'status' amongst his peers.
The XO reluctantly agreed although felt I was taking unnecessary risks
with the Captain's life. On his first job of transporting the Captain
to an official function, 'Franko', the driver, took the wrong route
and was corrected in his erring navigation by the Captain who was
sitting in the back fully booted and spurred in his Ceremonial Uniform
with Medals and Sword. Franko instantly and violently wheeled the
car around in busy traffic and carried out a smoking, snaking U Turn
bumping and grinding over and across the deep median strip and in
to the path of the, ducking and weaving horn blaring oncoming traffic.
On completion of gaining some control of the wildly fishtailing vehicle
he glanced over the back and calmly and pleasantly informed the witless
skipper that he would have him there in no time as he planted his
foot hard on the accelerator, pressing the petrified, embarrassed,
Captain Doolan into the back seat as the vehicles 'G' Forces took
control of him.
Upon
the Captain's return to the ship I noticed that the XO was immediately
piped to the Captain's cabin. A few minutes later I was piped to the
XO's Cabin. Grinning with that 'I told you so look' he informed me
that my attempted assasination of the Skipper had failed and that
'Franko' be relieved of his duties as Captain's Driver. Forever.
Obviously
by this time in the RAN, after HMAS Melbourne had been paid off, not
replaced and the Fleet Air Arm, as we knew it, disbanded, they were
obviously handing out Pusser's Licenses to anyone!
