In 1995 I was the Chief in charge when a Tri-Service Guard visited New Zealand as part of the celebrations for the 50th anniversary of the end of WWII.

We were accomodated at the New Zealand Police Force Barracks and were joined by a contingent of RN sailors from the UK and also the US Marine Corps Band from their home base in Okinawa.

The duration of the visit was one week and as it is (or was) when Naval people meet there is much merriment, conviviality, oneupmanship, leg pulling and piss taking.

One important factor that was certainly not overlooked by the sailors of the Aussie Guard was that the US Marine Corps Band had amongst their contingent a large number of female Bandies. One in particular was a real 'drop of skin' - but very, very naieve and bordering on 'Dingo Dumb'.

With the looks and IQ of a Barby Doll she was quickly given the nickname of the popular toy. Nevertheless a few of the boys were desperately trying to impress this young, supremely attractive blonde Marine Bandy with tall tales from the Land Down Under.

After a couple of hours of spinning outrageous lies to the Yanks about us being outback Jackaroos, Intrepid Crocadile Hunters and other OZ legends we finally got a real bite from 'Barbie' when we told her we actually raced Kangaroos and that we were all present in NZ as part of a kangaroo racing syndicate. The owner, the trainers, the jockeys and even the farrier were among us.

"What's a farrier?" 'Barby' asked in her best Californian accent.

We had to explain to her that racing Kangaroos was not unlike racing horses and the 'Roos had special shoes that the farrier fitted to the bottom of the Kangaroos feet.

She asked "What type of shoes does a Kangaroo wear?".

"Roo-boks" we replied.

She never even twigged to that!

The evening, however, progressed well and many tall stories were swapped. Of course we all had our photos taken with 'Barby' and then Barby made the huge mistake of leaving her camera on the table while she dashed off to powder her nose in the ladies room with the other female members of the US Marine Corps Band.

Alas, my boys, quick to sieze the opportunity made a grab for her unattended camera and then made a B Line straight for the heads. There they snapped off a number of photo's of themselves in various states of undress and in all the classic sailor's poses.

One of the lads even demonstated the technique for the correct application of 4x4. After using up all the complete roll of film they exited the heads and returned the camera to the table unnoticed.

The night finished up a pretty good 'do' all round with everyone going back to the barracks for the obligatory nightcap with our new found American friends. They told us all about being based in Japan, and how expensive it was there.

'Barby' then dropped the bombshell by telling us that she bought a lot of her stuff through the PX in Japan but there are some things she sends for from the US which arrive on regular US Milatary flights. She also advised us that film developing was expensive in Japan and she preferred to send the film home to her mother in the States for developing!!!!

Not a peep was uttered from the lads and we all silently chuckled at the thought of Barby's Mom's reaction to the content of the happy snaps of her daughter's visit to NZ, wondering also whether she would be arrested at the pickup.

As a sidelight to the story, I was approached early on the tour by the very large US Marine Corps Bandmaster who was a little concerned about the attention his female Bandies were receiving from my Aussie charges. I told him that whilst my boys were sailors they were also gentlemen.

The morning of our very first rehearsal came and we fell in on the Parade Ground. It was then reported to me by the Guard Officer that 4 members of the Australian Tri-Servie Guard were adrift!!

Co-incidentally, so too were four of the girls (including Barby) from the US Marine Corps Band. The rather large USMC Bandmaster glaring at me with open hostility made his way over to me, I could see that he was indeed, unhappy - just as he was about to open his mouth - I directed him to look up the hill where his four adrift girls were running down to the Parade Ground in various states of undress with trumpets and bugles being scattered and dropped everywhere on their way down, and........ right behind them....... marching smartly down the hill, all looking crisp, neat and smart......... were the four missing members of my Guard (all Gunnery Rates).

The remainder of the week's visit saw 'Barby' and her girlfriends 'off limits' to all Australians and one where the large US Marine Bandmaster developed an acute sense of humour failure whenever the Aussies were near..

CPO (Gunner) Jethro Ellis

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